The word incognito means having one’s true identity concealed. New York Times article, “Prized for His Aggression, Incognito Struggled to Stay in Bounds,” described Richie Incognito’s childhood experience as “…the teasing he endured as a kid.” It seems that Richie was bullied for being overweight and being more sensitive than other boys. His father pushing Richie to retaliate by causing physical harm to other kids may have not been a good parental advice. If Richie’s true innate identity is one of being sensitive to others, a powerful quality to have, his father’s advice to act in violence may have gone against Richie’s good nature. That is, concealing and preventing Richie from being who he may be, a kind person. Yet, there is never an excuse for a professional athletic to use derogatory terms against other players, or anyone for that matter.
Exceptional professional football players like Michael Oher, displayed such acts of integrity by being assertive as portrayed in the movie “The Blind Side.” Michael Oher applies assertiveness skills on how to use aggression effectively to win games and gain the respect from teammates and staff. Aggression alone refers to attacking the integrity and personhood of another. When this occurs, this type of aggression stems from unresolved childhood pitfalls. The opposite of aggression is passiveness. Passive behavior is when one lacks the ability to express one’s needs effectively, then redirects unfulfilled dreams to self destructive behaviors such as abusing alcohol or unconsciously sabotaging ones career. However, using Assertiveness skills helps meet your needs and makes your dreams come true without attacking the rights of others.
It seems that Richie, as a kid was not taught how to use assertiveness skills, which may have affected his self-esteem and self-image. Maybe if he was shown to be assertive, Richie may have been able to unite his sensitive personality trait with his love for football, a game that requires effective and productive aggression to “Stay in Bounds.”
How to gain assertiveness skills? Personal Revolution Therapy (PRT) teaches one to be assertive by applying PRT’s four simple mental techniques. Not only will PRT help in learning assertiveness skills but will help resolve those unresolved childhood emotional pitfalls.